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A Response to Deacon Brooke

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So, there I was, just living my life, when my husband asked, “Tara, can you read this blog article and let me know what you think?”  The article is here:  http://www.ourholychaos.com/2024/01/finding-peace-in-chaos-making.html  I sat down on the couch and read the article.  It affected me deeply, and in a way that I wasn’t ready for.  I sent him a text in return and said: “I am never reading another one of your blog articles!”  Then I said, “Wow!  I have a lot of work to do!” 

I spent all day reflecting upon this article and then the next day I took it to adoration and made my lists.  I realized that I have been failing miserably at what is most important.  My internal vocations needed some attention.  About internal vocations, Deacon Dan states, “Some vocations integrate with our identity. They are within us and cannot be separated from us.”

My Internal Vocations:

I am a child of God first and foremost, followed only by, wife and mother!  Those are the vocations that cannot be separated from me!  I felt like I had been doing a pretty good job of balancing.  I understood that my prayer life had to come first and no matter where I was, I knew that I was always Dan’s wife and my children’s mother.  But then I read on…Are they given your best attention and effort?  Ouch!  That slap hurt!  I knew the answer to that was no!  Why? 

 

My External Vocations/Hobbies:

Why?  Because the list of my external vocations/hobbies was overwhelmingly long. 

To name a few: (I’ve shortened my list for your sake 😊)

·        Job

·        Volunteering at church and our kid’s schools (3 different schools)

·        Marriage Preparation Ministry

·        Reading

·        Writing

·        Shopping

·        Did I mention reading?

·        Wasting time on Facebook/Playing Games (shouldn’t be a hobby, but it is!)

These are just a few of the things that seem to get in the “way” of my internal and primary vocations.  In turn, this robs my peace.  Having peace makes me a better child of God, a better spouse, and a better mother!  I need my peace!  So, what was I going to do with the stark reality that I was letting things get in the way of what was most important?

Now What?

I prayed, I prayed some more, and to be honest I am still praying for clarity.  I know somethings must change and God has showed me ways I can improve.  Lent is not far away, and God has pushed me to make some good changes. 

After a long day of working in a school and coming home to take care of the needs of my family I love to just sit for a while and waste time mindlessly scrolling on my phone, playing 10 crush, or reading a book.  None of these are bad things in and of themselves, BUT, I have a tendency to do them when I could be having a good talk with my husband, reading a book to George, helping Leo and Lucy organize their school life, or assisting Eva in getting ready for her next speech meet.   Instead, I feel caught up so in my mind, “I deserve free time!” 

I am certainly not saying that moms and dads do not deserve some down time, but as I’ve been praying about this, I have seen that the default of each member of my family is to lose themselves in some sort of mind-numbing activity.  (Phones, books, video games…the list goes on.)  If I were a better influence and initiated time with my children maybe we would default to spending more time together.  Does that make sense?

Remember I said Lent is coming…guess what God is calling me to do?  Yep, you guessed it!  Put my phone down and read my books only after my kids go to sleep, that is, after I’ve spent some time with Dan!  I’m going to challenge myself to make sure that my primary vocations are always first to my secondary hobbies.  Can I do it on my own?  Absolutely not!  God is going to help me! 

What is God calling you to do in order to live our primary vocation more fully?  God be with us!

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