Skip to main content

Special Needs Mommin Is Hard

Image
By

 


“Special needs?”  What does that even mean?  According the very credible source of Wikipedia (😊) the term, “special needs” describes individuals who require assistance for disabilities that may be medical, mental, or psychological.  A little over six years ago, my journey as a “special needs” mama began.  God called our family to adopt a child with Down Syndrome.  I had a decent understanding of what an individual with Down Syndrome was capable of as I had worked with adults with Down Syndrome, helping them live independent lives, while I was in college.  However, I devoured every book I could on what a Down Syndrome diagnosis meant and what kinds of things I could expect. 

In July of 2017, my three-year-old son with Down Syndrome was placed in my arms from the orphanage liaison and I was given a bag of formula and the clothes on his back with no explanation of what to expect of his behaviors.  My husband and I went back to our hotel room with a brand new three-year-old that couldn’t bear weight on his legs, could hardly sit up without falling over, could speak no words, and ate bottles with absolutely NO solid foods.  WHAAATTT?  By the time, my other children were three they were eating everything in sight, running around like crazy, and talking up a storm.  I knew things with this son would be different, but I’m not sure I expected what we received.  That was my first issue…I had expectations!  There was absolutely no book that would have prepared me for the beautiful child that was placed in my hands.  Though he wasn’t what I expected, he we so much more.  Though he couldn’t eat solid foods, his smile melted my heart.  Though he couldn’t bear weight on his legs he could do a happy dance that made his entire body move and groove.  Though he couldn’t speak to me, he could caress my face and hug me.  This child was perfect…He was perfectly mine, a gift from God. 

When we returned home from China the chaos began.  My son was checked over from head to toe.  I had to keep a record of his appointments and in the first two months of being home…60 days, he had 37 different appointments!!!  THIRTY-SEVEN!  This didn’t include PT, OT, or Speech which started the third month we got home.  I’d like to tell you that those appointments have slowed down, but they haven’t…He currently goes to therapy four times a week, thankfully, his health is good so we don’t have many “medical” appointments anymore.  But, it’s still a lot!  This mom runs and runs! 

As his mom, there are many times that my heart hurts for him, but if he could speak, I know he would tell me, “Mommy, I’m just fine, don’t worry about me!”  He can now run with all his classmates, and he has core strength like you wouldn’t believe…I think he is stronger than his mom.  However, he still cannot eat solid foods and words are still difficult for him to put together, but he sure tries…he talks my ears off, and I know one day all the sounds will make sense.  See, when you’re a special needs mama, the word hope takes a new meaning…we NEVER GIVE UP! 

My best friend has currently birthed four babies, one whom went back to God at birth, one that is a rebel without a cause, and two that have special needs.  I am so thankful that I have her in my life because she truly gets me, without ever having to say it.  As a mom, appointment after appointment I feel defeated.  Another appointment where he wouldn’t try food, he wouldn’t talk, he wouldn’t cooperate. I can often feel exhausted, but I know my bestie is doing it right along by my side.  Our support system is our saving grace, because you know what, special needs mommin…is hard, but we’re NOT alone and we will NEVER give up. 

I’m a better mom, friend, and human because of my special needs kiddo…Thank you God for choosing me to be a special needs mom! 

Comments

Post a Comment

Thank you for submitting a comment! It will be reviewed and posted as soon as possible.

Popular posts from this blog

Appreciating Your Spouse's Differences

By
Anger cut through me like a knife. It was the middle of the night—technically, the morning—and our new puppy woke me up by making a huge mess. Without getting into details, she obviously ate something that didn’t agree with her and I was convinced the smell would never come out of the carpet. The injustice dominated my thoughts. I didn’t want a dog, much less a puppy. It was my wife Tara’s doing. Yet, there I was cleaning the carpet while my wife blissfully slept the night away. A few days later, Tara and I had our end-of-month finance conversation. If that sounds boring, then you’re like my wife. She hates it. During the conversation, Tara reminded me that tracking expenses and talking about money is something she does for me, not her. It was disheartening to hear. I didn’t want her to do anything to placate me. I wanted her to choose to care, even though it’s not her thing. You probably noticed the hypocrisy faster than me. Here I was holding onto my image as a guy who has no time or...
Post a Comment
Read more

How to be Plan While Trusting God

By
The day started with a sweet cocktail of confidence mixed with eagerness to prove myself. Solving puzzles is a big part of any software developer’s job and I had the perfect opportunity to unravel an issue that would make a big difference for my team and our customers. I had the experience, tools, and the time, a day with few meetings, to get it done. The day ended with the bitter taste of hours spent on fruitless tests and theories. I walked away from my desk defeated and spent the evening hours in a sullen funk questioning my skill and value. Why do so many things in life demand all we have to give while still remaining outside our control? God asks us not to worry about providing for our needs (see Mt 6:25), but doesn’t tell us what unexpected expenses are waiting down the road. We are to take care of our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit (see 1 Cor 6:19) but no amount of diet and exercise can guarantee good health. If we don’t try, God will let us fail. But, if we do try, we...
Post a Comment
Read more

How to Build a Family Culture

By
“Anyone up for a game?” I asked optimistically. It was early evening and I didn’t have anything pressing. What a good opportunity for some quality family time. No response. Everyone had settled into their own thing. Books, shows, and random household tasks. I shrugged and shoveled some laundry from the dryer into a basket. I could wait. A few minutes passed and my son wandered by and asked if I wanted to play some basketball in the driveway. I looked at the half-full basket of clothes and told him I just wanted to finish this. A few folded towels later I found him occupied in a video game. I figured if I couldn’t beat ‘em I’d join ‘em and picked the novel I was partway through. Another evening passed with a house full of individuals quietly missing each other. The culture of our family had eroded without my noticing. When our kids were small it was easy to spend time together. We had virtually everything in common. Our kids’ main social group were their siblings and parents. That’s not...
Post a Comment
Read more